Catshit Bob

Once upon a time, I lived in the perfect place. It was in the hills surrounded by a ton of oak trees with a creek running through the property. Various critters would come down and drink from the creek and you never quite knew what you'd see when you walked out the door. I had a huge covered patio that I would sit in to drink my morning coffee and I'd listen to the world wake up. Without fail, there was a family of quail that would walk by and over the footbridge that took me to my neighbor's house. I had a huge country kitchen where I learned how to can and bake all kinds of goodies. I sure miss that place!

I was married to a construction worker at the time and came to know a lot of single men as a result. One year, my neighbor and I decided to host a Thanksgiving dinner for all of them as most had nowhere to go for the holidays.

Most of the men were well-behaved. Well, except for one. Bob. He was pretty much a jerk and would always drink until he fell down, but since he was a friend of the others, we decided to tolerate him for the day. Since the weather was particularly nice, we decided to hold dinner outside on my patio. It was large enough for everyone and it would keep the house from being turned upside down.

So as we were finishing the food prep, everyone else was outside yapping and having a good time. Bob was pounding down the beer as usual. We have a great dinner and then Bob gets up as he has to use the bathroom.

Now there were steps leading up to the back door and you had to step up over the threshold to get through the door and into the service porch. That is where I kept cleaning stuff like the vacuum cleaner, brooms, mops and so on. It's also where I kept the cat box.

As Bob staggered up the steps, he evidently didn't notice that he had to step up and over the threshold. He tripped and landed face-down in the cat box. And yes, the cat had used it. Needless to say, we laughed hysterically and from that day on, he was known as Catshit Bob. The nickname suited him well.

And that is the Catshit Bob story.